The Coinbase app has got my man in a trance
Now he’s tryna say this is the future of finance
I tried to say, ‘Your money’s safer with HSBC
It’s the third time you’ve forgotten your private key’

A bot drained all the apes from your Metamask wallet
You never leave the house without that thumb drive in your pocket
Said he’s saving up for a mortgage deposit
I said it’s a Ponzi scheme I don’t care what you call it

He said ‘stop FUDing’, said you’ll never FUD me
Until you’ve stopped talking ‘bout Merkle Trees
He said We’re All Gonna Make It I said where’s your Lambo
He said not long now, and I said ‘Yeah, Bro’

You’re never getting rich on Pancakeswap
Or scrolling through Discord looking for the next Airdrop
He’s fully immersed in a decentralised con
Now his profile picture’s a hexagon

Went out for dinner but he was acting hostile
They wouldn’t take Bitcoin ‘cause it’s volatile
I had to pay in fiat but I think I touched a nerve
‘cause he won’t shut up about the Federal Reserve

Now he’s the type of guy who follows Gary Vee
And says things like ‘we’re projecting 3% yields Q1 through Q3’
I say why would someone buy your stupid NFT
Then he didn’t talk to me for 2 whole weeks

He said ‘stop FUDing’, said you’ll never FUD me
Until you’ve stopped talking ‘bout Merkle Trees
He said We’re All Gonna Make It I said where’s your Lambo
He said not long now, and I said ‘Yeah, Bro’

You’re never getting rich on Pancakeswap
Or scrolling through Discord looking for the next Airdrop
He’s fully immersed in a decentralised con
Now his profile picture’s a hexagon